Don't know what to get that pepper-spraying cop, failed mayoral candidate or other newsmaker in your life? Never fear — our gift guide will help you find just the right thing for that special newsworthy friend.
Buy the San Francisco public defender a bridge-building kit ($96 at Frey Scientific), because the pension-reform crusader and failed mayoral candidate has burned all of his.
Tickets to “Shrek the Musical” ($66.25 on Ticketmaster). But this time, the disgraced former head of the San Francisco Arts Commission won’t be able to charge the city overtime for the hours he spends at the theater.
“How to Win Friends and Influence People” ($15.25 on Amazon). After playing his friends, making new friends, and getting played by them (sez Aaron Peskin), the Board of Supervisors president and failed mayoral candidate could use a little help.
For the former Oakland police chief, a Hawaiian shirt ($29 at Sears) to wear while not thinking about Oakland’s dysfunctional politics and shrinking police department.
For all your friends who have been living in tents, buy a 72-bar case of Ivory soap ($69). If members of the 99 percent are going to shower, they’ll probably want to do it with soap that is 99.44 percent pure.
Give the San Francisco assessor-recorder a gift certificate for $383 to cover the tasting menu plus wine at The French Laundry. That's how much each vote he received in the recent mayoral election cost taxpayers in public financing.
Give the energy secretary who approved Solyndra’s $535 million loan guarantee a DIY solar panel kit ($1,165), so he can experiment with new technologies without putting millions of taxpayer dollars on the line.
Bay Bridge Troll
Lt. John Pike
Buy a new wedding ring for the UC Davis cop who pepper-sprayed seated protesters in the face. ($492 at Zales). Creditors seized Pike’s ring, along with his pickup truck, barbecue grill and several handguns, after he became insolvent in the 2008 financial crisis.